I’ve been having what I usually refer to as ‘The Down Days’ lately. Its those times when theres nothing wrong, everything is great and perfect and everything is screaming at me that I should be happy, but I’m not. I’m very, very sad and lacking any sort of motivation to do anything but sit on my couch, wrapped up in a blanket and watching youtube videos.
It makes me feel honestly kind of stupid when I get like this. Nothing is wrong with my life so I should be happy! Why am I not happy? I’m aware that its because of my depression, all the chemicals in my brain are making me sad and not my situation, but I still feel like shaking myself by the shoulders and shouting ‘Just be happy!’ at myself.
I don’t like writing posts like this, partly because I like to make my blog as positive and happy of a place as possible but also because I always get those well wishers telling me to just go for a walk or have a shower and I’ll be fine. I won’t be. I totally get that they’re trying to help and I appreciate that, but a shower will result in me standing under a hot stream of water for an hour and a half wondering if I’m even real, and a walk will almost definitely result in a panic attack. The cute ‘self care’ tips you see on Tumblr just don’t cut it for me.
Heres a list of things that do help though, since I don’t want this post to be completely hopeless and depressing!
- Cuddles with the kitties.
- A huge cup of tea with slightly too much sugar.
- Giving myself time to feel better again rather than rushing myself.
- Making myself a real meal that I’ll actually be able to enjoy.
- Watching a film like Drop Dead Fred, which gives me the entire films length of laughter. It doesn’t help in the long term, but Rik Mayall’s hip movements in it definitely give me a good degree of happiness.
What kind of ‘self care’ do you use when/if you feel like this?