I’ve started to change my hair style lately, and its so scary. I’ve always had long hair, and the only time I’ve had any sort of fringe was when I was about 7, I barely remember having it. Lately though, I’ve cut it shorter than I have since I was about 12, though its still definitely long, and I have a sort of just below chin side fringe thing going on. Yeah, I managed to do that myself and have it look kind of really good? I’m not sure how it happened.
Always having long hair and being shy means I’ve always had a sort of shield, I’ve always hidden behind it a bit more than I’d really like to admit. I’ve spent years knowing this but being too afraid to change anything in case it went wrong or made me look worse. Cutting it myself has, as cheesy as this sounds, felt almost liberating. I definitely kind of get what girls who shave their entire heads must feel because it is pretty freeing to alter your own appearance.
Plus, its your hair, if you fuck it up everyone is going to see it and you’re going to have to say ‘Yes, I did this myself and yes, it was a bad idea’, or at least thats how I imagine it would go down, I’ve luckily not had to experience that yet.
My hair isn’t the prettiest and I’m good with that now, I’ve definitely learnt to accept and love the way it looks. It’s frizzy basically, with slight waves but not pretty ones, just ‘I obviously don’t bother brushing my hair’ waves, and I was always super self conscious about it not being all smooth and silky like I thought it was supposed to be.
I think you get to a point where you just sort of accept things like that. My hair is frizzy and its cool and I like it. I didn’t in high school when people enjoyed comparing me to Hagrid (honestly though we all know that if I was at Hogwarts I would definitely be living out in a cabin trying to get myself a dragon) but I’ve learnt to just accept a lot of things and move on since high school. I’m still bitter about it all though.
I started out this ‘hair journey’ (i guess thats what it is? It sounds lame) by dyeing just the tips of my hair and now (if I don’t spend my money on something stupid) I’m bleaching my hair again this month to attempt to go to a brighter blue all over (we’ll see how it goes okay? Its a scary thing).
I know it’s just hair, but its something I think about a lot largely just because I don’t feel like this is how my hair should be any more and I just don’t know what to do with it, it feels like a much bigger commitment to cut my hair than it does to get a tattoo!