My mental health has been completely down the drain lately. Thats the point we’re starting with. A few weeks ago I had a mental health assessment at the hospital and at that point I felt pretty great so we decided together that I would just get some sort of therapist rather than go for medication, but now that I’m not in the best place again I feel like perhaps medication is something I could do with trying out again.
Aside from that, I’ve also started work experience and even though it’s only from 10-4 on weekdays, its a lot for me. On top of that I’m still trying to keep up with my blog and instagram, looking after and tidying up the house, looking after my cats, write music and find time to spend time with my mum. I just feel emotionally exhausted and I’m waking up after sleeping for ten hours feeling like I haven’t slept at all.
I ended up not going into my work experience today but did go in to explain why and luckily they’re really understanding of my mental health and have said it’s fine and anytime I can’t face it I can just email them to let them know. There was no judgement and I really appreciate that. They even sent me an email of a newsletter they have that contains links to various self help for managing anxiety and a few other helpful bits, which I’m definitely going to have a look at.
All in all, I’m tired, sad and anxious but I’m still doing my best. When I went into my work experience it was with the intention of quitting but thanks to them being so genuinely supportive I’ve found the strength to keep pushing myself, it’s already helped my confidence so much and its only for four weeks so I can do this! I hope.
I’m trying, and thats whats important now. Will I manage to do the whole thing? I honestly don’t know, but I’m going to try my best and how ever much I do is still more than if I didn’t try at all and did nothing. This months theme has definitely been ‘I’m trying’ and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. I’m still not sure if it’s doing more harm than good, but I’m trying!