As someone who has been ‘plus sized’ my whole life, becoming more body positive has been quite the journey for me, and I’m definitely still not at the place I’d like to be but I’ve come pretty damn far. I’ve come far enough that I feel like I can share some ‘tips and tricks’ with you without being a total hypocrite or general arse. Less chat, lets get into them.
Be Nakey.
Not in public of course (unless thats something you’re into, in which case find somewhere to do it where you won’t be arrested) but just spend sometime around your self naked. It doesn’t have to be a whole day or when you have friends over, maybe just take some extra time after your shower before getting dressed, use a lotion that smells nice or just paint your nails. It makes you get used to the way your body looks and when you’re used to it, you don’t notice every flaw in the mirror so much. It’s just a part of your body and you know its there and its fine.
Take Fashion Risks.
When you’re having a good day and feeling confident, do something you wouldn’t normally do fashion wise and feel good about it. For me, this meant wearing a T-shirt tucked into high waisted jeans. I’m not one to usually show off the bottom part of my stomach but it was so nice spending a whole day not having to keep making sure my T-shirt is all the way down, and I can’t say I saw a single person looking at me either which has soothed some anxiety!
Follow People Who Look Like You.
Not literally, don’t follow anyone home or anything, just follow them on Instagram or your favourite social media. A big thing for me lately has been following girls who post selfies with their double chins showing. I hate hate hate my double chin and think its entirely disgusting but I’ve never thought that about other people. Sure, I notice double chins because I’m so aware of mine but I have never thought it detracted from someones beauty or made them disgusting, which makes me think its quite likely that the only person who has ever thought that about mine is me.
Learn To Appreciate Other Bodies Too.
It’s easy to compare your self to other girls be they people you know in real life, celebrities or instagram models, but its so much easier to learn to appreciate how good they look and how good you look. Sure you’re different but thats kind of the great thing about people, we all are. Other people either don’t notice your flaws, don’t care about them or don’t think they’re flaws at all. Rather than thinking ‘Oh she’s skinnier and prettier than me’ think ‘She has a nice body and is really pretty, we’d look great in photos together’.
Remember It’s Okay To Change Things.
The body positive movement makes it seem like we have to love ourselves at all times no matter what and though that might be the dream, its not the way it is. Sometimes we just have that one niggly little thing we don’t like, and if you can and want to, its okay to change that. You should just continue loving or trying to love yourself while changing that thing. For example, I’ve lost about 50 pounds this year and I feel so much better for it, and I tried my very best to love my body the entire way through it rather than ever hating it. Now I love myself a lot more, not because being the size I was was unattractive but for me, the size I am now is much more comfortable and feels more right for me. Figure out what feels right for you and helps you love yourself and go for it.
Find Friends That Are Body Positive.
This was a huge thing for me. Finding friends that don’t insist I’m not fat when I clearly am (and thats fine!!!!) and that don’t pretend I’m not the size I am and that pay me real compliments without the overhanging ‘You’d look better if you were skinny’. Having friends that appreciate or try to appreciate their own bodies and others is one of the best things ever, and no, no one is body positive or positive about anything all the time, but it means that you’re them to help them out just as much as you’re there to help them out and it turns into a puddle of love (thats not a euphemism for an orgy).
So there are just a few tips from your friends neighbourhood weirdo and this is me signing off because I’ve stayed up too late again.
-Dana
Carry on Beautiful! 