I’m not usually one for trigger warnings and the like, but this post does talk a lot about self harm so if reading this might negatively affect you, please don’t read it!
Self harm is still one of those things that I find really difficult to talk about. I know I shouldn’t but I still feel very ashamed and embarrassed that it was something I did and still think about even though it’s been a fairly long while since it was a huge issue for me. I have a lot of emotions when it comes to self harm and my scars, and I can’t really figure all of them out well enough to write about them, but I’ve known pretty much from when I started when I was 12 that I would eventually get tattoos over them. So I finally did!
I know it doesn’t completely cover or hide them, but I feel like it’s made them a lot less noticeable and when I look at my arm now, I don’t focus on them and feel like shit. A bit late into the post I know but a quick disclaimer that I’m only talking about my scars and how I feel about them, I’m in no way passing judgement on anyone else’s scars of feelings towards them.
As I have with each tattoo I’ve gotten, it’s time to tell you more about the actual tattoo! Long story short, it’s Dave Grohl’s guitar. Anyone who knows me know that the Foo Fighters are my absolute all time favourite band and I love Dave an unreal amount. When I was thinking about what it was I wanted to cover my scars, I knew I wanted there to be some kind of meaning to it and with a bit of thought I decided it had to be something Foo’s related.
Back in the day when self harm was a real issue for me and something that was on my mind 24/7 I listened to ‘Razor’ a fair bit. This was years before I started properly listening to the Foo’s, when I started listening to them properly and realised that song was by them it felt a bit like something had come full circle. I had listened to my first song from them during one of the darkest times of my life and used it to encourage and almost support really unhealthy and self destructive behaviour only to find the band again years later and lean on their songs for support through from things as simple as a bad night to my dad passing away.
Music has also been a really huge part of my life and helped drag me through some bad times still mostly in one piece, so having an instrument made sense and I wanted it to be Foo related so, boom, Dave’s guitar it is! I think this might honestly be my favourite tattoo yet, I love them all but this one especially I just adore.
It was done by visiting artist Dani at Bad to the Bone tattoo in Liverpool. I love Bad to the Bone, all the artists there are absolutely amazing (the detail in my tattoo has blown me away!) and the atmosphere is super comfortable and relaxed even for an anxiety ridden person like me! This is my 3rd tattoo from them and definitely will not be my last.
So there we are, that’s my new tattoo! This is a bit more of a deep and emotional post than I usually do, but that comes with this type of subject I suppose.