I’m so glad to be able to finally write one of these thats upbeat! I don’t remember how long ago I last wrote one of these, but the time since then has been great! In the last few months I’ve felt mostly really happy, or at least sure that I’ll be happy again rather than the depression I’ve been used to for so many years.
My anxiety is still really high quite often but I’ve gotten and am getting so much better at handling it in a way that stops it from ruling or controlling my life. I’ve done so many things I didn’t think I’d be able to do. While on holiday in Turkey I went exploring on my own, wore crop tops and generally just felt great. I’ve made some fantastic new friends that really understand what it’s like to be dealing with mental health problems rather than wallowing in them and using it as an excuse for being a terrible person. I’ve gone to a few incredible gigs and danced my ass off without a care of what anyone might think of my ‘moves’ and I’ve worn and felt comfortable in outfits that I never thought I’d have the confidence to wear.
I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, known as ASD a few weeks ago and though I am relieved to have the diagnosis I have been struggling a little with finally knowing what it is that’s always made me feel so different from my peers. I’m going to do a full blog post about this soon because, as you can imagine, it is a big deal to me. One positive to come from it though is that mine and Richards relationship has become even stronger.
Rich has Aspergers and finally having my own diagnosis means we now understand each other even better. This year has felt like when we first fell in love all over again, we’re closer than ever and I can’t wait to celebrate our six year anniversary next month.
I’m really looking forward to this last leg of the year. I’m not usually much of a Halloween person but I’m really into it this year, so expect to see more Halloween content throughout the month, then we of course have our anniversary, and then I’ll be totally ready to get onto the Christmas train! It’s no secret I love Christmas and I’m somehow already really looking forward to it!
I also have one of my long time friends coming to visit towards the end of this month and she’ll finally get to see where I’m working and how brilliant our events are! We’ve been friends for four or five years now but only been able to meet up a couple of times despite chatting daily so I’m really excited to see her and get to actually spend some time with her.
The only true downside I’ve had in the past few months was the person I mentioned in the post about handling online bullying emailing me. I’m at a point where I really don’t understand why they’re still contacting me and all I can assume is that their life is a lot more shitty and boring than mine and they feel the need to spread that to anyone they can, as shitty people tend to do. I’m so far past the situation they’re addressing that I’m barely even angry about them telling so many lies and attempting to insert themselves back into my life. I hope their life improves to a point where they can be as happy as I am and they can try, like I do, to improve themselves as a person rather than constantly call themselves a victim and point the blame finger at anyone in the area.
To end on a high note, one of the best things going on for me both in life and in regards to my mental health is that I’m so inspired and motivated to create constantly. I’m painting, writing some of the best music I’ve ever written, creating blog content I’m proud of and putting true effort and passion into the hobbies I have that inspire me. It feels great to be able to sit down to any creative thing I want to do and, for months, be able to just do that thing with passion and enjoyment to create a final product I’m really proud of. No more staring at a blank page waiting for something to hit, it’s just an immediate response and I’m finding so many ways to hone, grown and encourage all of my creative ideas.
So there’s how my life and mental health currently are! I hope you’re all doing well, let me know in the comments!